Jeanne Moos needs new pastures.

Why does this make so many of us so goddamn mad?

Come on. She’s not a real comedian, journalist or TV personality. Just a growler with no sense of ceremony and some shitty words to throw around. I mean, yeah, there were naked butts and those naked butts have a lot of heritage value to us, but THEY ARE BUTTS. At least someone asked Mike King what he thinks. Always liked that guy.

I’d like to think she’d make fun of any butt, no matter what colour. It just doesn’t seem especially racist. Have cheeks? Will jiggle? I’ll laugh. At least she wasn’t actually invited to the event, because I’m sure she wouldn’t have been polite like everyone else was. Anyway.

What really got my attention was when she said ‘Kathryn Walker’ when talking about Kate’s coat.
KAREN WALKER. KAREN. K-A-R-E-N. As in “what a corker, It’s Karen Walker” tote bags. Karen. Not Kathryn.

If you’re gonna try and sound cool by naming designers, then get their names right. Especially if most Kiwis worth their salt know her name by accident (and we’re unashamedly salty motherfuckers. Somehow.).

So… if it was all up to me, I’d be getting Lady Moos through an aptitude test, and it’d tell me she should be a lunch lady. Then she’d go through a food safety course and a field test at a private school. She’d have it in the bag; she’s got people skills. Then I’d check in with her in a couple years.

I’d be impressed if her ‘sense of humour’ held up; you would too?

Oh… and… if we get enough ‘infotainment ratings’ or whatever the fuck goes on at CNN in the back office, then we better get something out of it. Like an upgrade of all municipal parks or some fancy bridges / galleries / towers / public gardens.

I’m sure that’s how it works, yeah? Otherwise wouldn’t it all be a waste of time?

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