My Little Cousin: Family is Magic

A certain little someone is very sick but still remains very ‘Pinkie Pie’ about it all. Kids can be so admirable in the face of illness, can’t they? Or just plain silly, which I happen to admire anyway. Which is silly.

“Did you dotice that if you say “‘Murica” really fast whed you have a cold, it souds like “burqa””?
“Ileed Lubsded (Lumsden is my family name) souds like a Scadibaviad pop star.”
“So Queeds of the Stobe Aid guy is Josh Hobbs, who is a boy who goes to by school.”
“Dad gave be a bad look whed I asked for a sticky bud (bun) at the suberbarket. Thed laughed. He bawd it eddyway.”
“Thaks for dot beig scared of by cold gerbs. Beig sick is lodely. Just before the weekedd. Ugh.”



She said all those things in a span of a few minutes, I think because she hadn’t talked to anyone at length for a few days. I totally do that too. I feel sorry for anyone who calls me after a period of self-imposed solitude, because they’re about to get brain-vomit in their ears. Oh, I’m sure I can help it but I’ll leave it for now. And it’s always a pretty good indicator of sickness for myself, because if I’m still conversationally hyperactive, then I’m sure I’ll be getting better soon. It’s usually hospital time if I don’t have the energy or will to ramble.

But this little lady; she’d blabber during a robbery. And it pains me to hear that it’s what a lot of adults don’t like about her. So many defining characteristics get steamrolled during childhood, just to be idealised in adulthood. What the hell is wrong with us?! I can count on one hand the people who enjoyed my curiosity as a child, but there are quite a few who say that’s something they really like about me now. Which is lovely, but shouldn’t we all be a bit more curious? Ask more questions? Hmm? What about deliberate hypothetical provocation? Here’s some I had to find (or make up) answers to a long time ago:

  • What if you saw the Conservative leader and the Liberal leader making out? How would they lie about it?
  • What if Santa isn’t a human but more like a demon? Like he possesses people to give things away or they’ll join him in hell?
  • If there are colours that humans can’t see, do you think animals are leaving messages for us that we can’t read or hear?


Edward de Bono (if you’re not sure who he is, he’s the one who made ‘lateral thinking’ into an actual thing) came up with the term “po” to put before such a statement in order to suspend disbelief for the sake of discussion. Also “ben trovato” which means something like “ought to be true”, but that’s a whole other thing. A thing I like reading and thinking about. Anyway.

I'm wearing a black hat right now. I'll try not to read too far into that. (

I’m wearing a black hat right now. I’ll try not to read too far into that. (

So before you find yourself getting irritated with the Pinkie Pies of the world or you see someone about to go mad at one of your more excitable friends, you gotta know someone in the room needs to think a little bit harder. Questions get answers. Genuine cuteness is needed in a world like this. Optimism shouldn’t instantly be dismissed as blind idealism. Talkative people generally mean well (unless it’s that neo-con wanker on the bus; complimenting someone’s shirt sometimes means you end up fighting an ideological battle. Is that my stop? Close enough.). Chatty is good. An open mind is hard to find.

Bursting with blabber. (

Bursting with blabber. (

So you chatter away, little buddy. Ask stuff about things and junk. Feel free to share. Something you need to say might be something someone needs to hear.


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