50 miscellaneous thoughts I had yesterday.

  1. Why isn’t Halloween more of a thing over here?
  2. There’s birdshit all over that floodlight. Must suck pretty hard to be in charge of that lightbulb.
  3. I wonder if I’d still enjoy myself at Rainbow’s End now that I’m much older? Something tells me I’d enjoy it more, actually. On a quiet day, though.
  4. Who decides upon the shapes of the power sockets in different countries? At least the New Zealand one looks kinda like a face, which is a bit cute.
  5. Should I try and learn sign language again? You know, so not even the deaf would be safe from my ramblings.
  6. Who invented paint? I’d like to know what led them to look at something and decide it was the wrong colour / markings belong on it and not be able to relax until it was changed, if that’s how they felt at all. Or was it an accident?
  7. I want new paints. Or maybe the watercolour pencils that change if you add a wash of water after? Wait, I have those. OK, settle down.
  8. Someone wrote “Kevin Excellence” on the wall to my right, in really small letters. Maybe 2.5mm – 3.5mm kinda size? I fucking rate that, and I don’t know why. Also, “Michael loves Akiko” to the left. Awww.
  9. I ended up paying late fees for those DVDs I hired for free. DAMN IT, ILENE. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD DEAL AND YOU WERE LAZY ABOUT IT. LAME.
  10. If I had to choose, would I rather be a man with an effeminate voice, or a gruff-sounding female? That grey area’s kinda fun.
  11. Why does my mother still go to church?
  12. Do butt implants make everything you sit on more comfortable? Or less so? Reminds me of a Cyanide and Happiness thing.
  13. Why do I dislike the term “drop the F-bomb” so much?
  14. I’m not sure why, but that guy in the singlet seems like he has a really punchable face. My fists are somehow compelled, but this is a library.
  15. I wonder what my parents did while I was away at camp those few times. Actually… no, I’m good.
  16. I’d like to be a drill sergeant for a day, just to be able to scream “MAGGOT” in someone’s face and not get pushed over for it.
  17. If the English language wasn’t my first, I doubt I’d bother with it. Too many inconsistencies. So I’m glad it happened this way.
  18. I hope I’ll never need a gun, but I’d still like to be able to shoot well.
  19. That child looks lost. Oh wait, he’s fine. Actually, I think he’s hiding. Yeah, he so is. Ha.
  20. I bet having no eyelashes would really mess with my head.
  21. I find myself saying chocolate is overrated, until it’s in front of me.
  22. I once worked in a chocolate factory. It was exhausting, but I enjoyed myself.
  23. It’s fucking irritating waiting for test results. But I don’t have it as bad as the lady who gored herself on a syringe in a waste sorting facility a few years back. She had to wait far too long, for way more horrible things than I do. That was some scary shit to read about.
  24. I’ll never get those shoes back. Oh, well. Not long ago, I would have trod broken glass to get her out of my life, so no harm, no foul. On the upside, she’s out of my life. Still, they were such nice shoes.
  25. “Shoes” is a weird word to repeat over and over and again. Odd sound. But I guess all words get that way.
  26. Glue. Glue glue glue glue. Shoe shoe shoe glue glue glue. Does not compute.
  27. I bet it’s really cool to see a shark up close. But that’d involve disturbing them where they live, which isn’t nice at all.
  28. I wonder how many people try really hard not to look annoyed when Gene Simmons enters a room. He just seems really annoying. KISS is rad, though. At least there’s that.
  29. I bet Neil deGrasse Tyson would beat Simmons in a fight. Don’t know why, but it seems right.
  30. I’ve just seen a really good deal on a decent theremin, but I can’t rationalise the expense right now. Sigh.
  31. Do creeps not realise people can actually see them being creeps? Staring and such?
  32. Where’s Missy Elliott been all this time? I read somewhere she’s not well, and that’s kinda sad.
  33. Dentists don’t really have an elevated suicide rate, do they?
  34. I don’t know if I agree with the Transhumanists, but I can’t help but be intrigued. Bordering on obsessive, actually.
  35. Holy shit, I have no freckles whatsoever. Wait, there’s one. And another. No. NO. We cannot play this game right now.
  36. There’s so much glass in this room. Now I feel self-conscious.
  37. Competitive horse-riding needs to stop, at least in its current incarnation. In the past, I bet it was far more wholesome and considerate than the poor excuse for gambling and  OMG FASHUN we’ve been left with.
  38. Why do journalists ask such shit questions? OK, that was a generalisation. But there’s some cringe-worthy shit out there.
  39. I’m glad Nikola Tesla finally got his dues, in a way. I think he’s the closest to an actual magician this world ever had.
  40. I’m also glad there’s marshmallow fluff in jars.
  41. Who named the colour purple? I don’t know what I would have called it myself, so it seems reasonable.
  42. I wonder what it’s like to be that lady I read about once who was obsessed with eating chalk.
  43. If I owned a foundry, would I be the type to let people dispose of bodies in the smelter? Would I do that kind of thing myself, or just spend a long time thinking about it? I have no soul, damn it. And my metals would be impure too. Ugh.
  44. I get so angry about ageism, especially in regards to being adept at using technological things. In my case at least, the people who taught me about computers and the internet all had grey hair and a lot of patience (and in the case of Mrs. Gavey, red licorice. The taste will always remind me that my typing was indeed “frenetic, but in an outstanding way”. Typical – enthusiasm first, technique later. Yay, praise!).
  45. If my parents praised me more, would I then not have cared what my teachers at school thought?
  46. Is that why I feel like such an attention-seeking piece of shit sometimes?
  47. Why are almost all these thoughts about me?
  48. I guess this is my mind, after all.
  49. Which I’m losing.
  50. Oh yeah, that thing I was doing.


  1. 1. Be glad Halloween isn’t overdone in your country. It’s become a candy corn malaise here in the U.S. 29. Tyson/Simmons would be bigger than Tyson/Holyfield, there might even be more ear biting. 38. I’m glad that link was not to any interview I’ve conducted.

    • “Candy Corn Malaise”, I feel, could be a good band name. If I saw it on a gig poster, I’d probably go! But you’ve got a good point; I’d much rather it was underdone that overdone, upon second thought.
      Oh man, the ear biting! I imagine it’d start off gentlemanly enough, but eventually devolve into something that’d blow holes in the Pay Per View stakes for sure.
      And I’d better stop making fun of other people and their interview-type-mishaps, seeing as I’ve become more interested in journalism as a career. It seems like I’m tempting fate…

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