which is to say, I’m really sick of being sad.
It’s terribly draining to be sad for long periods of time, but I’m sure everyone knows that.
There’s a million reasons any person can be sad, reasons occurring both internally and externally.
We all work differently, live differently, see things differently, and learn things differently.
We have all had unique experiences that have led us to where we are today, experiences that a lot of people would say is a ‘journey’ to get to the exact spot they are this second. And the next second. The one after that, and also this one. And so on.
I better get to the point, for all our sakes; we’re wasting valuable seconds here! Shit!
Anyway, I know what it’s like to be sad in my own way, and you must know what makes you sad too, because you’ve been sad before in your own way too, because something hurt you.
This goes for everybody.
And that in itself makes me a bit sad, but it’s true. Yep, that’s the only word I’m going use to describe it. Sad. It was some sad-ass sadness, I tell you WHUT. But, the thing is, I decided to pull my head out of my own sadness the other day and get my head in some of the sadnesses of others.
Of course, I started with the internet, mainly because my laptop was the only thing I found mildly interesting within arm’s reach during this particular instance of me feeling fed up with my sadness, and, well, also because it’s the number-one source of information about anything, ever (Shout out to Tim Berners-Lee, you hero, you).
I typed ‘sadness’ into Google. That was step one. I found a whole lot there:
﴾descriptions to describe sadness and its function in the human brain
﴾stock images of people with their heads in their hands
﴾a Wikipedia definition that sums it up more or less logically
﴾WikiHow’s ‘5 Ways to Overcome Sadness‘
﴾a surprisingly deep definition on Urban Dictionary.
…that’s to mention a small handful.
And, kind of abruptly, I started laughing at the fact I just typed ‘sadness’ into a a search engine, and started to wonder if I’d just lost my sanity for a second and should just close all tabs and stand up and clean my damned room or something.
But, then, I thought, fuck it. I deserve to laugh at something, so I’ll laugh at myself, because I forgive myself that. I just want to hear myself laugh again. I’m fed up with being sad so I’ll fucking laugh at myself because that’s my god-damned right, I’ve fucking earned it after all this self hate.
And then I’ll stop laughing at myself, and somehow laugh with myself – in a more compassionate way, because I feel better and less insane after a cackling fit (I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT WORKS EITHER BUT THAT’S OK).
I forgot that the differences between things aren’t the only important thing in the world. It’s important to notice the similarities, too. For some reason I’m not entirely clear on, I found it really fucking hilarious that I have never come to this simple, sobering and comforting fact before.
I feel a bit better now.