if

if you’re all such miscreant pieces of shit,
why do I crash when you forget about me?

if I really couldn’t care any less,
then why do I care so much in the first place?

if this is all an illusion,
then why is it so menacing? and distressing?

if nothing really matters in the end,
then why should it matter today?

if advice is all we need,
then why is nobody listening to anyone?

if anyone really is listening to anything,
why won’t they, for the love of everything good,
just act like they are?

if I didn’t think so hard,
would I be this distraught?

if we weren’t all so full of shit and ego problems,
would everything really be all right after all is said and done?

if we weren’t such great actors and actresses
if I could just say what I mean
if you could just mean what you say
if someone would just say anything that meant something
would we feel better?

if I had more than words,
would I be better understood? or just misconstrued in a different way?

if I fix myself,
will everyone else seem all the more broken?

if you fix yourself,
would you tell anybody how you did it?

if I will never get a real answer,
why do I still ask?

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