Have you ever been sedated like a wild animal, for having a panic attack in a waiting room?
It’s the worst.
Yet, I decided to do this shit all over again.
As if once wasn’t enough.
I don’t want to be diagnosed.
And I don’t want any more sedatives.
I probably need them.
But I don’t want them.
What have I done? It’s too late to pretend it’s not happening. Even if it wasn’t, I’d be hospitalised for not turning up.
I want to throw everything. I want to break everything. I want to turn everything into dust. Fire. Kill it. Kill it all.
I’ll draw stuff on the back of my hand instead.
I’ll try not to press too hard.
How did I get here?
How can I escape this?
I feel so very alone.
It’s best to be alone right now.
The only way is through.
It’ll be fine.
I can comply for the day.
I can do this.